College Baby!

A week ago, I left home to go to college. It was probably one of the hardest things I have ever done. But now that I have been here for a while, I love it here. I love being in Rexburg. It's super freezing here compared to St. George, but the spirit here is amazing. I have met so many people and have made so many friendships that I know have made me better and have changed my life. I have 5 other roommates. Kadee, Erin, Lauren, Brooke, and Michele. I love EVERY single one of them. I honestly could not have asked for better roommates. I love being around them and we all get along so well. I love being here, and I am so glad I chose to be here, because I know it is exactly where I am supposed to be. 

My mom and I drove up separate from Penny and Kadee. We stopped in Salt Lake to hang out with Tiffany and her girls. Then the next day we drove the rest of the way to Idaho. When we got here we walked around campus, and moved into my apartment. 

I really loved being able to spend that time with my mom. I love her a lot. I didn't think it would be that hard to say goodbye, but it was. I really love my family, and being away from them has made me miss them. 

But, all in all, I am way happy at where I am at in my life. I have so much that I want to accomplish and do, and I know that the Lord has provided a way for me. I am just taking the steps necessary to get there, and I am more than willing. 

I LOVE COLLEGE!!!

Our desks (: We kinda love Marilyn Monroe.

The front door area. (and our babe magnet)

The front room TV.

My messily organized closet. 

Beds.

Our bedroom door.

Our bathroom. 

Our wonderful jewelry holders. Thanks to Pinterest.

The kitchen.

The dining room area.

The living room (:

California Trip

So, not that my family is crazy or anything, but we really decided to go on this trip they day we left. 

I honestly love my family, and I was so happy I got to go on this little trip with them before I left. We really had an amazing time seeing the people of Venice Beach and playing in the ocean. There were a lot of different people there. I'm happy my parents don't like me to be super sheltered. Because it really humbles me when I see people a  lot worse off than me. 

Anyway. We didn't have a whole lot go on. But I did want to take some time to write on my blog that we took a trip before I left. Mostly just for me. (: But also for anyone who follows my crazy thoughts. 

I'll never forget that a black man walked by me and said "Hey there white chocolate!" 

That was my nickname the WHOLE trip. Haha. I love people. 

Anyway, goodnight my friends. Until I write again!

Answered Prayer

From day one we learn that trials are part of our life here on earth. We will all have situations in life that bring us to the point of giving up and losing faith. I've been there, and honestly, lately it has been a daily struggle. Although trials come both big and small, they can change your life. They can be life consuming, devastating, and heartbreaking. But I know without a doubt in my mind that these struggles and these challenges help us grow. They teach you to trust in the Lord, because He is never going to put you through something in this life that you cannot handle. 

I know that my Heavenly Father is very aware of my trials. He sees me every single day fighting the battles of this life. He knows me better than I know myself. I have tried to make it through some of these things on my own. I would ask myself how would praying really even make a difference? My family is still struggling, money is still an issue, and I haven't felt more alone. I couldn't even fathom how a simple habit of prayer would change any of that. 

One night, everything just wasn't going right. I came home from work, went to my room and knelt by my bed, sobbing. I felt so helpless. I had always known that Heavenly Father was always there. He always wants to talk. We just have to put in the effort, and he'll respond. But as I grew older it just seemed less and less necessary. But on this night, I prayed. I talked to Heavenly Father about everything. Everything I was feeling, what I was going through, the timing of it all. I mostly just talked to Him. More like a conversation. I can't even tell you how much better I felt just after praying. My problems didn't go away. But I felt comfort, and He knew that that is exactly what I needed at that time. 

Days passed. I still woke up to the same struggles, just with a better attitude. Now, I'm not saying it was a perfect attitude, but I knew that I always had Heavenly Father, and He really was there. It helped me get by, with more hope than disappointment. I continued to pray throughout these days. I felt better and I felt strengthened, but I told Heavenly Father that I still felt alone at times. I needed someone I could talk to that could relate and just help me get my mind off of myself and focus on others. 

Which brings me to today. Where my prayer was answered in a way I never would have expected. One of my really good friends, had announced on Facebook a few days before that he was home for a couple months because he has to get ankle surgery. I so badly wanted to see him, but had no way to get ahold of him, considering he never got of Facebook after he posted that. This kid was one of my really good friends, and I was sad that I probably wasn't going to be able to see him before he left. But, I just left it at that. 

Tonight I came home from a really long day at work. Then I went to visit one of my friends in the hospital with Mitchell. The visit went well, but things have just been really off with Mitchell lately. So we got in an argument when I dropped him off, then I came home and sat on my bed just thinking. I got on Facebook just to pass the time. All the sudden I see my missionary friend post something and I couldn't believe it. It was about midnight and he was on Facebook. I hurried and messaged him asking him how he was doing and told him that he should really talk to me because I missed him. He messaged me back and we decided to meet up. 

I have not laughed that much in so long. He is so filled with the spirit, and had so many amazing stories. But at the same time, he was the exact friend I needed for this king of situation. He had gone through exactly what I'm going through right now. He knew how I was feeling, and he made me feel like I wasn't alone.  I knew in that moment that Heavenly Father was very mindful of my situation. He had blessed me with an opportunity to learn and grow from someone who knows me and knows my situation. It wasn't the answer to my prayer that I was expecting; it was SO much better. I am thankful for His mindfulness and for blessing me with this amazing missionary friend in my life. 

I am so blessed to have been raised with the gospel of Jesus Christ. He is mindful of every single one of our needs, and there is not a day that goes by that I don't believe that. Prayer is so important, and if we just ask our Heavenly Father for strength, He can and will help us through the roughest times. In my case, he helped me through someone else. I am forever thankful for the merciful blessings that are presented in my life each day, and I hope I can keep that mindset throughout my life. 

Hard Times

I always joke about how I think Heavenly Father finds my life humorous. I sometimes think to myself that He just needs a reason to laugh, so that's why my life is so crazy. 

I absolutely hate money. It brings out the absolute worst in people, and it really tears families apart. You would think that  a strong family could make it through money issues with a closeness and a bond that is unbreakable. Especially a family who has made it through the worst of things. But life seems to prove other wise lately. I find myself trying to put the pieces back together, but it's not just a one man job. 

I have a lot on my mind lately. I have so many things to think about and to figure out before I leave. Saying I'm stressed is seriously and understatement. I try to work through it and figure it out, but most of the time, I really have no idea where to even begin. 

All I know is that it is never easy to fix a family that is falling apart at the seams. Guys. This is totally one of those things that I thought would never happen to me. I have grown up with the best family in the world. I have an amazing mom and a hard working dad. I have amazing siblings. But lately, everyone just gives up on everything. That has never been my family. We don't give up. We don't let the hard times get in the way of loving each other and growing from it. But this time, everything is different. My parents are fighting, my siblings are fighting, stress is at an all time high for everyone. 

I feel so guilty sometimes. Like it's my fault. I feel selfish that I'm going off to college in two weeks and leaving my family a mess. But how am I supposed to fix it? I really can't. I've tried everything I can think of. I'll clean the house in the middle of the night so no one has to worry about the house being a mess. I'll go visit my mom at work to try and put her in a better mood, but she always comes home disappointed and often times more stressed than ever. 

I seriously sometimes just have days where I come home and cry. I have never felt so helpless. I know this all seems so dramatic, but seriously, it's a rough situation. I've never been through anything like this before. It's a burden that I carry very heavily and I honestly am weak enough to admit that I am not handling it well. 

Maybe it's the Lord's way of helping me grow. I really don't know. But all I know is that through this trial, I have never felt more alone. I wish things were different sometimes. But I just always have to remember that there are blessings in trials. I guess that has to be enough hope just to push through this, even if my family doesn't make it. I have to. 

I Am One Blessed Girl

I cannot even believe how fast the days go by. I swear I blinked, and then all the sudden I have two weeks left here in my comfy small town. 

I've been spending a lot of time, as much as I can anyway, with the people I love the most. It's been really hard to put it in perspective that things change. Who knows, when I get back, things could be so different. People you love change and grow into the person they are going to be for the rest of their lives; so do you. That's just something I have to learn to embrace and be okay with. No matter what, I'll always love the people I leave here, and the memories that surround every inch of this place. 

On a more happy note, not that I'm not happy, just a lot of thoughts, I have been having a lot of fun. I just love the boys that I have grown so close to over the past 3 or 4 years. I got to see them yesterday, and I really can't help but smile. They really all have a huge part of my heart. They are such good guys and I can't wait for us to grow up and to see where they go in life and what their future holds. 

Funny, isn't it? How we love to see how other's futures pan out. Maybe not a lot of people think that way, but I sure do. I love being happy for people. I think it is the neatest thing to see your peers accomplish their dreams. All I know is that I wish everyone the best of luck, and if you have a dream, there is no reason for you to not reach it. 

I had a really long, good talk with Mitchell last night. That's the neat thing about him; I can honestly talk to him about anything and everything. I really feel blessed that he's in my life. He's just one of those people that make you know Heavenly Father is watching out for you and answering your prayers through that person. He's really just been a comfort. Something I haven't really had in a long time. I do have other comforts in my life, especially my best friend. She's my number one always. But seeing as how Mitch is a boy, he just is a different kind of comfort. I mean that in the most respectable way. We look at things differently, but in the same respect, we can totally see each other's views on how life works. It's nice to see things in a different light sometimes, and I'm thankful I can learn from him. He's a good kid. I'm super lucky that he's one of my best friends. I'm just more thankful than I can muster up the words to express, but I know the Lord is answering my prayers and looking out for me, and it very well may be through him.

I was thinking a lot today about my mom. I was a punk in my earlier teenage years and had a hard time with my mom. Now though, we are closer than ever. I can't picture myself packing up and leaving her. I really don't want to. She's one of the main reasons I am where I am today. Her example and influence has had such and impact on my life. I feel like when I leave, I could very well be so lost without her. She has a tough shell, and she doesn't let world catch her in hopelessness or failure. She has always been amazing that way. She's always been strong, and if anything, I hope I take that same strength with me in my life. I really love her. I couldn't imagine life without her here. It's safe to say she is my best friend. Guys, I get her as my mom for life. How lucky am I?

I am one blessed girl. That is something I realize every day. I have a loving caring family that is happy and together. I have the opportunity to go to college, and not just that, I get to go with my best friend in the whole world. I get to be surrounded by people who have the same beliefs as me, and people who want to be successful. I have two jobs, which have really helped me get through this tough economic time. I am blessed to be here. To be healthy. To have people in my life who love me, and want nothing more than for me to life a great life and to be happy. I love who I am. I love that I always have someone watching over me, and that life is eternal. I am so thankful for what I have and for having the drive to write my thoughts and feelings down, no matter what they are. 

I don't have all the answers to life. But I do know that if you live it to the fullest, and your happiness is genuine, and your deeds are sincere, you can't really go wrong. 

I love good days

Today was one of those days where everything went really smoothly. It's not that I hardly ever have days like that, but usually I am really stressed, so I haven't had one for a while. I was so thankful that everything worked out and that I can actually say it was stress free. 

I did the dishes last night while my parents were sleeping just to be nice. My mom came in this morning and hugged me like crazy and told me she was so thankful I cleaned and that it really meant a lot to her. So that made me feel super awesome, I won't lie. 

I went to work, which I loved today. I take care of a 90 year old lady named Leila. She was making me laugh all day today. Oh boy. Sometimes the simplest things bring a smile to my face, and remind me to just slow down and take everything in. 

I got off work early, then I came home, changed, and hopped over to my guitar, whipped it out and started playing. Right now, I am learning "Everytime" by Britney Spears. It is such a pretty song, and I am really excited to learn it. The chords are super easy, all I need is a bit of practice and I'm set!

Of course the smallest things make my day, like realizing I didn't run out of my low carb ice cream bars. So I got to have my ice cream. I don't even feel bad about it. And you know what? There is more left. So I'm set for the next few days even (;

Mitchell called me, and even though he is a punk 90% of the time, (he'll argue that it's only 50%, but lets all be honest with ourselves here...) he was actually just so sweet to me. I couldn't even believe it. But it made me so happy that he was being such a sweetheart. He even texted me goodnight, which is rare, especially when he goes long boarding. So Mitchell got an A+ today in my book. 

More good news... it's only 3 in the morning. Which means I get to go to bed 4 hours earlier than yesterday. 

See. This day has just been splendid. No complaints. Just one very blessed girl.


Here's a thought of the day for you guys.

Goodnight, fellow bloggers

It is 7:11 in the morning, and I can honestly say that I have not slept one bit because I have been working on getting caught up on my blog. So if things are out of order, that's why. I wanted to cover important events in my life even if they are a bit in the past. Well goodnight fellow bloggers and blog readers. Even if I'm just writing this to myself! I'll do some more work in the morning. So until then...

Graduation

There comes a time in life, where you accomplish everything you have worked so many years for. I could not believe that it was my turn to graduate. I never thought my time would come. It was always my brother, or my friends, or someone in my ward, but it was never me. But my senior year passed by so fast, and before I knew it, I was in my cap and gown, walking across the stage as the called my name, and just like that, there I was. A graduate of Pine View High School. Wow did I feel old. It's what you work towards for 12 years of your life, and there I was, goal accomplished. It felt amazing and I am so proud of myself for making it. But graduation means growing up, and that means that friendships change, and that there will be people you never see again. But I saw it as a new beginning. And I'm taking it and running. (: College here I come. 

Me and my seminary graduation diploma.

My seminary graduation diploma. 

Graduating class of 2012.

Me and my mom.

Me and my parents. 

Me and my family (:

Grandad, Me, and Grandma.

Me and Binks (:

Nana, Me, and Papa. 

Me and the Underwoods (: Catherine, Lola, Samantha, and Kim.

The whole gang!

Jordyn, Me, and Hannah (:

Me and the ladies (:

Me and my bestie, Kadee (:

Me and Tiff (:

Me and Allie.

Me and Kenedie.

Ash, Me, and Tay.

Me and Tanner (:

My siblings (:

Andrew, Kadee, and I.

My cute friend Giselle (:

My second family (: Garrison, Giselle, Tani, Gary, and Gabi (:

Me and Prentiss (:

Me and Cody (:

Me and T-lan. Tylan. This is the mormon on drugs! (:

Me and Lenka (:

Me and Coley (:

Me and Emma (:

Graduation Cake!